|My bike NOT being ridden today.|
For a few weeks I was worried about this. After all, I've put so much work into the sport and to burn out now would most certainly not be a fitting ending. But then I thought about when's and why's of my predicament and as a result I'm not worried anymore. Here's why:
1) It's November and I'm tired. I want to spend more time with Mary and Ian and I are playing through a couple video games that quite frankly are more enjoyable then training at the moment.
2) Except for an Olympic distance race in 3 weeks I have nothing scheduled until Oceanside. The Olympic race was always on the calendar solely to have a bit of fun in Palm Springs over the weekend of Dec 3rd and 4th. I still intend to have fun regardless of my finishing time.
3) I did a 180 on the training plan I picked for Oceanside and Couer d' Alene. Part of this might be because I'm not feeling motivated, but part of this is also that after 2 weeks I straight up didn't like the plan.
4) The six hours a week I am doing now are incredibly fun. The runs have been especially great.
5) I'm changing. Three years ago, when I weighed close to 300 pounds and was a emotional trainwreck, I NEEDED goals and structure. But the goals and structure I've worked with have (ironically) helped me get myself back to the point where I can now handle some "distraction" again (if that's the right word). I am enjoying my career again and enjoy putting a little bit extra into it. And I don't panic when I have to miss or cut short a workout.
6) I'm still religiously keeping my legs well shaved.Do I think endurance sports were a "phase" and I'm coming out the other side now? Nah. Because when things are fun they are FUN. But about an hour ago, a mile into a ride (on my road bike, which this close to a race is telling in and of itself), I decided that I didn't feel like riding today and didn't want to force the issue. So I came home. That said, I still look forward to my upcoming races and I still visualize swimming, biking and running in a very favorable light.
Of course I can't slow down time and there are big races four and a half months away. Sixteen weeks out from Oceanside falls in early December and that's going to have to be a go/no go line for next year. So I'm going to have to find my motivation again. But I'm not going to worry about it, at least not yet. My connection to this stuff is stronger than a short rough patch.